The Aqua Class Incident
Moments That Made Me Pause (1)
I attend an aqua aerobics class about 20–25 minutes from home. Because there’s a class right before mine and parking is limited, I usually arrive just as the previous group is leaving. That means I’m sometimes 2–3 minutes late—but typically just as everyone is settling in.In one of my early classes, a woman introduced herself to me. She mentioned she had worked in Nigeria, where I’m from, as a missionary. I thought that was a nice point of connection. But over time, I began to notice a pattern.She would often interrupt conversations I was having with others, or try to monopolise my attention with small talk I didn’t invite. Then it shifted.
One day, I arrived slightly late—as usual, just a couple of minutes—and as I walked in, in full view of the class, she tapped her watch at me. I felt embarrassed, but I said nothing and continued with the class. Another day, she cut into a conversation I was having with other women just to point out—again—that I was late. That time, I told her I drive 25 minutes to get there. She lives two minutes away.
I started to keep my distance after that. But then one day after class, as I was heading out, she physically grabbed my arm and repeated the same gesture—tapping her watch.
That was the moment I paused.
And responded.
I told her, firmly, that I found her behaviour bullying. That she had done this before. That she needed to stop. And that if it continued, I would report it. I also said something that had been sitting with me—that it felt like I was being singled out, and I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was the only Black Irish woman in that space.
Since then, she has avoided me.
What stayed with me wasn’t just the behaviour—but how long I tolerated it before naming it. Sometimes we minimise things. We brush them off. We try to keep the peace.
